I Ate At McDonald's In Brazil And It Humbled Me
Yes, the menu is different. Also, the walk there was heavy.
I recently found myself on a fairly last-minute trip to São Paulo, Brazil for almost a week. Most of that week was spent working. However, I did have some free time and, because I am me, one of the first things on my list was seeing how different McDonald’s was in South America than in the United States.
Guess what? It’s way different. So I decided to give it a taste test, getting a few assorted items, trying a bite of each, and seeing what I thought. Yes, there is tons of history, lots of cool sights, and plenty of rad-looking museums in Brazil. Yes, I am choosing to talk to you about McDonald’s.
And hey, if you want this post in audio or video format, you should definitely check out this week's episode of Big Kid, the most important podcast of all time.
So, McDonald’s in Brazil. It’s something I hadn’t thought about until I saw a McDonald’s advert at the airport. Once I took a look at the menu, I searched for the closest one to my hotel and walked over.
I have to say, the walk was exciting. It was also one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I’m fortunate that my language--English--or variations of it are spoken in most of the countries I’ve been to. Throughout Europe, I didn’t really have much of a language barrier issue, save for maybe Poland.
Brazil was different. Brazilians speak Portuguese, a language I know nothing about. It was by far the biggest language barrier I’ve ever been up against, but not once did anybody I came into contact with seem frustrated or put out by having to help the American who didn’t know what he was doing.
Instead, each person I encountered helped me with a smile. It made me feel at ease in what would have otherwise been a series of dramatically awkward (I am who I am) sitruations. I feel those aren’t the vibes Americans are known for sending out when they encounter people who don’t speak our language.
It’s a shame. Walking the streets of São Paulo was like walking the streets in any other major city. Where I was specifically reminded me of Brooklyn. It was early in the trip, so I was still very timid about approaching people, given I wouldn’t know how to communicate efficiently. But I saw a toy store, so I ducked in to have a look around.
I mostly avoided eye contact with the staff as I perused the aisles looking for something cool when an employee came up smiling and speaking Portuguese. All I should think to do is shrug and apologetically say “English?” She didn’t roll her eyes, didn’t show anything other but kindness as she said, “Ah, English,” and held up her finger to tell me to wait a moment. She then went and got the young employee who spoke English.
It was such a perfect interaction that it made me feel at ease in a place where, otherwise, I would feel like an outsider--an other.
And while I know this isn’t everyone’s experience and I know there are safety issues in the area, I can only speak to my experience, which consisted exclusively of walking in well-populated areas during the day.
Regardless, the experience I had served as an important reminder for me. We’re all just people trying to exist on this big spinning ball. We have the same fears, the same problems, the same ambitions. We drink the same drinks and we eat the same food.
We all, it turns out, love McDonald’s.
So let’s talk about the items I ordered at McDonald’s. I got one hamburger, one chicken sandwich, and one other sandwich. A desert and a drink rounded out the order. Let’s start with the other sandwich.
Warm Cheese Sandwich
I’m assuming they call it the warm cheese sandwich, instead of a grilled cheese sandwich because it’s not grilled at all. They flip the standard hamburger bun inside out and stick two pieces of cheese between the buns.
This item was delicious. Honestly, it’s a super basic thing, incredibly cheap, and very satisfying. I’m no chef, but I’m convinced they’ve nailed this specifically by putting two pieces of cheese in there. It makes it feel much more ooey gooey, which is what we all want in a grilled cheese. Alright, let’s move on to the hamburger!
Brabo Melt Crispy
This was such a weird experience. What I learned is that in Brazil, they use very different beef. The patties are a different size and texture than McDonald’s in the States. They’re bigger, but also dryer. Most importantly, it doesn’t seem like they use that patented McDonald’s flavor seasoning we have in the States.
While it’s a dry burger, the Brabo sauce, which is a sort of cheese-based sauce that’s a bit tangy and a bit spicy, makes up for any dry beef. The crispy component on mine wasn’t actually crispy, but I was blown away to see crispy fried onions on a McDonald’s hamburger. These things pop up on a lot of the items on this menu and these would be a game-changing addition to the US menu.
In all, I like the burger. However, there’s a reason the Big Mac works. It’s a well-balanced bite. It’s sweet, it’s savory, it’s sour, it’s tangy, there’s that hit of the onion, the creaminess of the sauce. It’s a loaded bite.
I took one bite of the Brabo Melt Crispy and the tanginess of the sauce overpowered everything else. Moving on…
McCrispy Chicken Elite
I’m not going to bury the lede here. This is quite possibly the greatest fast-food chicken sandwich on the market. It is a gift that the world needs. Basically, it’s a McCrispy Chicken Club--you get your lettuce, bacon, etc. What sets this one apart and brings it to life, though, is the addition of hot honey.
For those who don’t know, hot honey is exactly what it sounds like. It’s spicy honey and it’s incredible. I didn’t know about it before I moved to Florida and wow, it’s pretty awesome.
So the hot honey, mixed with a freshly fried chicken made for a perfect bite. McDonald’s needs to bring hot honey to the States, immediately.
The rest
As mentioned earlier, I also got a drink and a dessert pie. For the drink, I went with Sprite Zero and was shocked to find that the only size they offer is what we in the US would call a small or child-sized drink. It was less liquid than a can of soda. And guess what? It’s the perfect size for a meal.
In fact, I didn’t finish the drink. When you realize you don’t have much, you conserve it. And realize you’re not all that thirsty. It was a nice reminder.
Lastly, I ordered the banana pie. That’s right, in Brazil, McDonald’s serves a banana pie. I love the apple pies and I love bananas, so I wanted a little taste of that.
Unfortunately, that never came to pass. It turns out, they gave me an apple pie. I considered going back up and asking them to swap it. But I needed to get back to my hotel and the line at the counter had grown substantially. Besides, I like McDonald’s apple pie.
I took a bite and, of course, it was perfect. It was warm, gooey, and delightful. One bite was about all the sugar I could handle but man it was nice to have a familiar flavor like that in a new place.
I don’t know what I want you to take away from this piece. For one, realize that just because people are different from you, doesn’t make them better or worse. You shouldn’t write someone off just because they don’t speak your language. In fact, it should inspire you to actually help them out, if you can. We’re all humans, we’re all trying to survive and thrive, and we all love McDonald’s.